i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
