i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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