So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
