no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
