i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
