If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Are my feet made of real feet?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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