I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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