But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
