Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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