I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
