speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
