I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
