i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
