No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
