my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
