The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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