She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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