do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
