Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
