I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
