Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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