I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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