I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
