You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
