relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
