He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
