i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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