He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
