Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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