I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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