While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
