I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
