Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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