North Korea, Best Korea!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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