i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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