She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
