Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
