chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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