we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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