i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
