we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
