on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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