have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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