i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
