So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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