Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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