Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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