I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
