...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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