Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
