the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
