BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
