Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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